Someone has eclipsed Elvis and is nipping at the heels of The Beatles in most number one singles on the Billboard charts. Care to venture a guess? You'll never get it. Oh, you think you can, huh. All right, I'll wait...

Jeez, I'll come right out and say it while I vomit in my mouth a little. Mariah Carey.



Yeah, her. I knew she was popular, but really, when did this happen?!? In light of this news, I declare today the saddest day in the history of my relationship with music. Let's just all pray that when she wakes up tomorrow she'll have a revelation, become a monk, and never sing a note again in her life. At least allow Paul and Ringo to keep some dignity before they join John and George.

A candlelight vigil in honor of the music industry that once was will be held at midnight tonight wherever you are.